22

Today I woke up and was lying in bed when I unconsciously started singing, "I don't know about youuuu, but I'm feeeeling twwwwenty twooo". It wasn't until I got to the 'feeeling twwwwenty twoooo' part when I realized I was singing Taylor Swift's 22!!!! Was it a coincidence or did I suddenly feel 22?! I think the latter. So I played the song and danced and sang into my imaginary mic. It's a new right of passage. 18- get a tattoo or piercing, 21- drink legally, 22- listen to Taylor Swift and sing about how you feel 22. 

When I was 18 or 19, 22 felt so far away. I thought by the time I turned 22, I'd be so much smarter than I was then and I'd have so many more adult life experiences. It turns out, I feel the same. I'm still young and naive, and very much still learning! Each birthday feels like the past year felt shorter than the one before, and that's probably because each year older you turn, that year is a smaller fraction of the time you've lived total. 21 flew by too quickly! I mean, I still get a thrill getting my ID checked to drink in public! May 22 be long lasting and full of freaking fun. I'm excited to see what 22 will bring. 

The fanciest thing I have ever done- wine tasting ^^^

Also, this is Taylor Swift's 22.

Friday fun

Yes, I realize that is Century Link, not Safeco.

John is in town for the weekend, so that means this weekend is filled with a ton of fun! I have been busy all week trying to do two week's worth of course material in one week so I don't have to spend the weekend prepping for next week while he's here, but I failed. Though I have a giant pile of work left, it's Saturday and it's sunny, so I think it's going to be further delayed until tomorrow.

Anyway, John and I went downtown yesterday and went to the aquarium, which John has been telling me he's been dreaming about going to since he was in high school. He literally used to get giddy when I would mention the aquarium. I'd been in high school and my senior party was there, but I wasn't really impressed... It's small and not worth the ticket price ($22 per adult?!), but you can always find discounted tickets somewhere online. John and I have been to the Newport Aquarium in Cincinnati which is probably 5x cooler so I think the Seattle aquarium was a bit of a letdown for John, but it's another thing off his bucket list so I'd still consider it a success.

We also went to the Mariner's game with a bunch of my friends from high school. It was our first time going to an M's game ever and it was also college night + beard hat night! There were so many people there- we kept bumping into familiar faces. And another awesome bonus, the Mariner's actually won!

Whats a trip downtown without Piroshky Piroshky? It's not a trip downtown! Also, we got gelato at this little place called Gelatiamo. So good in my belly. 

Beard hats. We're cool, I know. ^^^

This is my dating picture with Jenny- So romantic... ^^^

I hope the next couple days pass by slowly. I love it when John comes to visit, it's really a mini staycation for me, and I always eat so well for those couple of days... Happy Saturday!

Surprise party for dad!

Always trying to be the center of attention: my dad dramatically blowing out the candle

My dad's birthday is this week so we celebrated on Sunday. When I got to my parent's house that morning, my dad wasn't home and while looking for candles, we found balloons! So we got busy blowing up balloons, making animals and taping them to the wall. It was silly, but fun- I'm hoping we'll do face painting for my birthday next weekend. Just kidding...

Anyway, all my sisters came home which was nice because we're hardly ever all there during our regular Sunday lunch. I was planning to go buy my dad a present that morning, but I totally forgot it was Easter and everything was closed- even Target. So I bought this amazing Boston creme fruit cake from Safeway- it was sooo good. It wasn't even good for Safeway- it was actually crazy delicious.The cake was moist and there was a ton of fruit piled on top of it. So much that my grandma didn't want to eat it because she kept saying it was too much a hassle. We were trying to get her to explain what that even meant, and she just told us she doesn't like to eat things when it looks like there are a lot of individual things on it. So she had a VooDoo donut that Liza brought from Portland.

It was really nice to get a break from school and go home and pretend like I didn't have a ton of work to do, but now it's Monday again which means it's back to real life. Please let the next 7 weeks just fly by because I'm ready to check out!

Bố

My mom made pho. This is usually the system: one of us microwaves the bowls to warm the noodles, my mom pours boiling soup into the bowl, and one of us is the runner who carries the bowl to the table.

My Gma licking her fingers while eating her donut. She looks like a bunny- so fitting with it being Easter!

Linda brought me my early birthday present and this is how she wrapped it. Linda wins at creative wrapping in our family.

Kiss the girl in real life

Omg, this video! I don't usually share things like this, but it just made me so happy. Probably because I am alone trapped in a house studying on a Saturday. I grew up with Disney princesses and still LOVE belting out Disney songs (very useful for babysitting little girls). Has everyone seen this already? If not, you should watch it and feel super happy.

Also, I found an easy way to make everything okay!

Thickening skin

Me and my clinical group... sike! we don't wear nurse hats.

I'm not sure how many other people feel like this, but I really dislike that feeling I get the first day I start something new. Like the first day of a new job, or the first day at a new school, or really any first day where I'm in a new environment and I don't know anyone. It's scary- and nerve racking and I'm kind of excited, but I more want to just throw up. That's how I feel at clinical every week.

This quarter, I'm at the hospital for 2 8-hour days, plus 1 evening before to collect patient information for my nursing care plan that's due at the end of the week. I basically just go into the hospital, log on to the computer, close my eyes, point to a name on the patient list and hope that they're still going to be there the following two days. No one is really there to tell you which patient is likely to be there and which patient is likely to be discharged, or which patient is going to be really nice to you or which is going to hate that they got a student. You just blindly chose and go home to start your 15 page care plan. The next day, you sit in the meeting room where the nurses coming on-shift meet to figure out who has which patients. The nurses ignore you, do their thing and leave the room, which signals you that it's time to chase down the RN that has the patient you chose last night, and tell her (or him) the great news that she (or he) has a student nurse that will be following them around for 8 hours! This is the part that I literally dream about the night before, the part that determines how you are going to feel for the next 2 days- when your nurse looks at you, smiles and says "Hi, nice to meet you!" or looks you up and down and says "ok, get a chair".

There are a couple inefficiencies in this system

1. Should your patient get discharged by the next day, you wasted a bunch of time working on that care plan because you are starting over, baby! Honestly, I feel like it is a waste of time to come the day before to chose a patient. Today 3 out of 6 of our patients that we chose yesterday were discharged, meaning half of us had to chose new patients. When we're real nurses, we're not showing up the day before work to check out our patients- we're gonna show up to work and have 30 minutes to figure out 5 patients.
2. RNs don't know they're getting a student until the start of their shift and some of them see students purely as dead weight that will slow them down. I really hate that feeling of being in someone's way. It makes me feel super incompetent and useless. Some RNs don't even talk to their student... Others are superstar RN/teachers and love students!!! RNs should volunteer to have students- this would decrease anxiety on both sides. Students would know they're assigned to a nurse who wants to have a student and nurses who don't want students don't have to have them.
3. Students, especially students in their first acute care rotation, are scared as hell! I don't need to be babied, but it would be nice!!! Just kidding. I don't need to be babied, but a general outline of what was expected of me would have been nice. I had no idea how to read the electronic documenting system, and how to read the medication schedule, and how often I had to document vitals and interventions. I figured out that I had to when an aid or a nurse or my teacher finally asked, "Why didn't you do this?". Because I didn't know I was supposed to, that's why.

I remember at the nursing program orientation back in September, I asked one of the instructors how receptive clinical sites were to students (yes, I really hate the feeling of being out of place THAT much), and the professor said, "Yes! Clinical sites love students from here because they demonstrate a deeper level of critical thinking, blah blah blah". Of course they'd have to say that!!! Whatever. Bleh, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be complaining. I know everyone else is dealing with this too. I know it's not personal and I'm working on getting that thick skin. I'm pretty sure everyone in my cohort has already had a mental breakdown (crying included) this quarter so I know I'm not the only one who could use a callus. It's okay, at least I'll always have Ryan. Good night.

Warm weather is coming!

This weekend was absolutely beautiful!! So beautiful in fact that I said, "Sorry pharm, I'm going out!". It was sunny and even in the 70s. Girls were wearing short shorts and it wasn't just a desperate plea for spring to actually be here! Spring is here, people! Those girls needed to wear short shorts because it was hot and all our pale pacific northwest thighs needed to feel the unfamiliar warmth of the sun. Anyway, my roomie and I ditched our books and chores around the house to go to Pike Place because it was so nice out. There were so many people out- it actually looked like Pike Place on a weekend during the summer. I usually try to buy a bouquet of flowers to put in the house because I feel like it boosts morale, but they only have tulips this time of year and tulips are... bleh. So we grabbed the biggest pastry that wasn't a loaf of bread from one of the bakeries and enjoyed it on the little patch of grass that overlooks the lake while dog/baby-watching. We had our phones whipped out the whole time and took pictures even though we'd seen everything a bunch of times before. It was nice to play tourist in our own city. It felt like a mini three hour vacation, like we weren't about to come home to a sink full of dirty dishes and textbooks to read.

Now it's Sunday night and it's time to get back to work. This coming week is going to be hectic as hell, but it's okay because after, we can start celebrating!

Self serve eggs, how cute^^^

My roomie... isn't she cute?! You can follow her blog here.

First med surg experience

highlight from week 1: saved a baby snail from a dry tree

Spring quarter started last week, and I purposely have not posted anything about school because I have been so overwhelmed. The past 2 weeks have been a serious emotional roller coaster. I've felt every emotion that I think I will experience while in nursing school- from bitterly crying to unexplained inner peace, to undoubtedly predicting my failure and then to complete optimism about my career choice and future. When I started school, I told myself I wouldn't let academics take over my life and make me feel awful because I just hate basing my life's value on just one thing.  Ha! I may have slightly failed. I have definitely felt like complete crap about myself, lost sleep over it and had high blood pressure the past 2 weeks.

Anyway, I am coming off a GREAT day so I'm feeling good. There are so many things I want to remember about today. Today was my second day of my med-surg rotation so I followed my assigned nurse around and saw so many cool things. I watched a suppository medication administration which was administered while the patient's family was in the room and I couldn't help but smile!! 1) because what is funnier than putting your finger in a stranger's rectum, and 2) because I was genuinely so excited to see a real med pass! I'd never seen a suppository med pass before- in lab, they made a makeshift rectum out of a cup, a rubber glove and some rubber bands.... I was trying my hardest not to smile, because the patient's family would probably be like, 'wtf is wrong with this student nurse'. I saw so many IVs: healthy ones, infiltrated ones- I even got to feel fluid rushing through the patient's vessel by placing my fingers above the IV site, while the RN pushed saline! I saw an IV dressing change and realized blood does not bother me at all.

Not quite yet, but getting there

The best part about today was having the nurse I was assigned to. She was so friendly and real with me, not to mention helpful! She pulled up labs for a patient and instead of just eyeing what she needed to and continuing with her work, she turned to me and asked, "So as a nurse, what lab values are important?". She introduced me to all the patients as a student nurse and talked me through everything she was doing- setting up a PCA, precautions for all the meds she was passing, when to call the physician- and occasionally asked me questions, "What is metformin? Why can IV meds cause a burning sensation?". It really allowed me to practice some critical thinking in a safe environment because she's not the one grading me. By the end of my shift I asked her how long she'd been a nurse, and she said she graduated in 2013. She was so knowledgeable, I would have never guessed! She left me with some encouraging words- that yes, you'll have harsh instructors and preceptors, but you'll also have awesome ones, and that's just how it goes.

I think one of the worst parts about being a student nurse is feeling like you're a bother. When RNs are not receptive to you, not introducing you to the patient and hardly acknowledging you, it just feels like you're in their way and slowing them down. As a student, I think it's hard enough feeling like a fish out of water, but feeling like you don't know how to swim and all the other fish are swimming away and you're just trying to catch up? That makes your 8 hour shift feel like a 12. So glad I got to end the week on an awesome note!

I've written so late it's Friday! Happy Friday everyone.

Fashion faux pas: Crop tops

I love going shopping. I don't actually buy that much stuff, I just like going. I usually shop the clearance racks or at second hand stores which I like because it's like a lottery- am I going to find something good today? Is it going to be cheap? Will it be in my size? There's a thrill in shopping cheap and I get a little high off it. Sometimes, I am browsing racks of tops, and 2 feet down the rack from me, I see a pretty fluttering sleeve. I excitedly flip through the remaining plastic hangers leading up to that pretty fluttering sleeve until my hand is finally on that beautiful sleeve's hanger, and then, as if in slow motion, I dramatically pull that hanger off the rack and hold it up in front of me an arm's length away, with high hopes that I have just won the lottery... only to find that the shirt is half the length of the torso of human female adult. What the heck!

noooo!!!! 

I do not like crop tops. They are taking over the world in a bad way. They don't make sense unless you are less than 5 feet tall and they are actually a top (I'm completely serious about this). They don't cover your body. They don't cover your belly button. What is the point of a shirt that doesn't cover the upper half of your body? That's like owning a blanket that only covers from your hips to your legs. Just because you're skinny doesn't mean you have to wear a crop top. Just because you're good at math doesn't mean you have to be an engineer. Follow your heart, do what you want, and don't wear a crop top. Especially to your theology class at your Catholic school! Yes, a girl in my class actually wore a crop top to class and talked one-on-one after class with our middle-aged male Catholic professor. Gross.

What do you guys think? Where do you think crop tops belong in our society?

Grandparents

Special mother-daughter bond seen here

My grandparents are here! My sweet old grandparents flew in a couple weeks ago for my sister's graduation and they're staying at least until my other sister's wedding in August. They are floaters- as in they float around the country living with their children so I guess it's my mom's rotation now. They came with 2 suitcases and plan to live out of them until whenever their children decide it's time for them to leave again.

My grandma is a tiny 4'9" woman who weighs 101 pounds (She tells me this all the time. She used to be in the double digits and she is really proud she broke triple digits recently). She is 89 years old and is strong and healthy other than arthritis and recent knee surgery. She often forgets stories that she tells me so when I finish her stories with the punch line, she kind of looks at me with wide eyes like, "What". She lived with us when in my early childhood and literally used to wipe my butt. If she had a Myspace with her grandchildren as her friends, I would definitely be in her top 8 (and she has like 15 so that's pretty good).

My grandpa is 90 years old and has a strong hand grip bilaterally, but his hearing is off. It took years to convince him to get hearing aids, and he finally has them, but he says those $5000 hearing aids itch his ear so he doesn't wear them. My family jokes that he is just tired of hearing grandma. They have been married for 70 years! They were arranged to be married at 18 and 19. A while ago, I asked my grandma if she thought my grandpa was cute when they first met. She said no, the first time they met was at their wedding and she cried because she was scared. By the time they were my age now, they had 2 kids! Every three years= two kids, she tells me.

That's all I wanted to say. I have the worst time ending blog posts because I feel like I could keep babbling on forever. This is all- the end.

Food from TJ Maxx

This is a short story about discounted food. I'm not sure what everyone else's first impression of food from TJ Maxx and Marshalls is, but I used to approach it with a lot of suspicion. I just figured the food was either about to expire or it'd be so smashed up from failing at another retailer that all you'd get when you open the bag is crumbs. I mean, discounted food? Of unknown brands? Where did it come from and how long has it been here??!?!!

Anyway, a while ago, my sister let me try these avocado oil potato chips that were totally delicious and fragrant. I asked her where she got them, and she said she had originally bought them at TJ Maxx and liked them so much that she and her husband ordered it in bulk on Amazon! How cool. I became slightly less suspicious of food at TJ Maxx. And THEN, a couple weeks ago, I was binge watching Shark Tank and this lady was trying to sell her healthy/natural/all-good-stuff pancake mix to the sharks. One of them asked if she was in any major retailers and she said TJ Maxx! She was just some little lady with her independent business, selling product to TJ Maxx. That is freaking cool and totally awesome! It made me want to go directly to TJ Maxx and find some awesome product hidden in their food aisle. The next big food thing could be in there... think of the possibilities.

So when I was in Kentucky over spring break, I went to the food aisle at TJ Maxx and bought those chips my sister had and apple chips by the same company and I was so impressed. Now every time I go to one of those stores, I look in the food aisle for anything interesting looking. That's the end of my story. The End.