On weddings

That one wedding where my nephew and I played the parents of my 3 little nieces aka his cousins

I think I have been subconsciously (or rather quite consciously...) planning my wedding for years now. And when I plan it, I don't usually plan it with a groom in mind. I usually just plan my wedding and there's an image in my mind where I'm standing in front of the officiant in the dress of my dreams with bouquet in hand, my arm raised above my head, because, hey, I just got married! As for the dude standing next to me, it is usually a black silhouette, a mystery man with his arm raised above his head also because he is equally happy he just got to marry me.

I think it's a combination of having such a large family that we've had at least one wedding to attend annually since 2005, and the fact that people slightly older than me that I still consider my "age" are starting to get married. It's crazy! And scary. But exciting! I just love the idea of party planning for all the most important people in your life, and looking totally effortlessly beautiful, and having such romantic vows, that even my Vietnamese relatives who are as emotionless as rocks can't help but bawl their eyes out. After, I will feed everyone and we will dance until someone breaks a piece of furniture and the venue kicks us out. Yes, I've thought about my wedding vows to black silhouette. Yes, my wedding is going to be a wild party. Yes, things will break.

I'm not saying I'm ready to get married; I am not even close to being ready to be married. I feel like I have been slowly getting little hints, like family or friends saying "you're next...", in a creepy little voice with eyes kind of scrunched and their shoulders hunched. I am definitely not next- I just love weddings. And when it actually comes the time that I do get married (years from now), I'm not going to care that much. It's not going to matter what I wore or whether the food was good, because I'm going to be so madly in love with black silhouette that I won't care about that infinite day, because it is only a brief celebration of what is going to last for the rest of my life! Right?! Just make sure I have a good photographer because anything can be shot to look like a good time.